Delight: The Key To Connection

We were designed for delight.

In the Creation Account, we see that God created man in His own image, He declared it as “very good,” and that when He created Adam and Eve, they were naked and experienced no shame (Gen. 1:27, 1:31, 2:23). There was no sense of failure, no trying to measure up, no sense of disapproval, no fear, and no guilt. Adam and Eve simply delighted in God, in one another, and in His creation.

What is delight?

Delight is a high degree of satisfaction or pleasure. Some other words for it are: joy, happiness, and glee. We see delight throughout scripture in three main ways: God as a source of delight (Isaiah 61:10), His Word (Psalm 119:16), and His works (1 Samuel 2:1).

But delight is not a one-way street – only man enjoying God.

God delights in us, too!

Psalm 18:19 – “He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.”

Psalm 147:11 – ” the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.”

Isaiah 43 (various) – “But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob…Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”

Can you believe it?! The King of Heaven wants us!  

Delight Destroyed

Into the picture of pure delight in the garden, entered Satan. He does his best work when he twists what God designed for good, and makes it serve his evil and destructive purposes.

Genesis 3:6-7 “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit…and ate.”

Satan used delight to deceive Eve. He produced a counterfeit.

This is always Satan’s plan. He is not a creator of anything, but he will take what’s been created and use it against humanity -against God- and until the final word at God’s choosing, Satan will continue to seek to devour and destroy all good things God has made.

Connection is his primary target- Satan aims to cause disconnection through whatever means he necessary.

Disconnection

Adam and Eve ate the fruit ushering in fear, shame, guilt, blaming, seeing the worst in one another, and hiding. They hid from themselves and they hid from God. We continue this same strategy today.

Instead of turning toward one another, they immediately turned against one another and against God.

“The woman YOU gave me!” Adam said, pointing this finger.

“The serpent YOU created!” Eve said, side-stepping blame.

Disgust replaced delight.

Disgust Defined

Disgust is a feeling of revulsion or strong disapproval brought on by something unpleasant or offensive and it causes us to feel revulsion or profound disapproval (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).

Can you imagine Adam’s face when he blamed Eve? Eye brows furrowed, a mixture of anger, frustration, confusion, shame, and defensiveness surging through his body – an overwhelming experience for him as he’d never experienced these emotions before.

We often attribute disgust to our sense of smell and taste which keeps us from ingesting poisonous or potentially harmful substances. In this sense, disgust is a protector and is helpful.

Disgust in relationship equals disconnection and can eventually lead to complete destruction of a relationship.

Disgust is processed in a part of the brain called the insula- the same center for our brain processing taste and smell. When activated, it can cause nausea and a physical sense of movement – such as we communicate when we say, “my stomach dropped out of me.” It also can cause constriction in the throat and mouth. This makes sense when we think of the benefits of protecting us from eating harmful things and explains why we feel a tightness in our chest or being unable to breathe when we’ve felt the disgust of someone’s rejection of us.

The funny thing about our brain is that even without a word, when we see the look of disgust on another’s face, our brains become activated and we feel this disapproval quickly and deeply. It reminds our bodies of all the other times in our story where we’ve not measured up and our bodies instinctively want to hid. It’s too painful to withstand.

Disgust leads to shame. Shame says, “You are not good. You are not right. You are not accepted. You are not wanted.”

But there is hope!

Recalling Delight

Can you recall a moment you were delighted in? Maybe coming home from school and mom was waiting with cookies, a smile, and a “Hey! I’m so glad to see you! How was your day?” Maybe your dog in 3rd grade who greeted you at the door. Or a teacher who always made you feel like you were really something important.

They called out your worth, your dignity, God’s glory in you.

They delighted in you.

Wherever you are reading this, I invite you to read through the next paragraph and then take 3 minutes to be still and complete the exercise.

First, close your eyes and reflect on this memory. Remember the light in their eyes, the corners of their mouth turned up in a smile, their posture towards you. Maybe they gave you a hug, a high-five, or a fist bump. Note how your body feels remembering this experience. Maybe it’s hopeful, energized, motivated, inspired? Before you open your eyes, I want you to take this one step further – and I want you to consider for a moment that maybe, just maybe, this is the way God looks at you when you come to Him.

Delight Restored

Your relationship with God’s delight holds the key to transformation in all your relationships because delight is connection. You can’t give away, what you do not have. If you haven’t experienced God’s delight in you, there is no way you can offer this delight to others around you, and you’ll remain disconnected regardless of how much you may long for connection.

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

Experiencing God’s Delight

Let me offer just a few clues as to where to begin if you need to reconnect with God’s delight in you. This isn’t an exhaustive list, by any means, but use it as a springboard to coming up with your own ideas.

• Search scripture out, and make a list of the verses on “Delight”. Write out a few that stand out to you. (Or use this free printable I offer.)
• Set aside 15 minutes of quiet, and find a place you feel comfortable. Dare to ask God a simple question: “God, is it true you delight in me?” and see what He has to say. (If it’s a voice of condemnation that creeps in, that’s not from God. Romans 8:1.)
• Recall an activity where you feel you come alive and do that. Pull out your calendar and make a point to enjoy doing something you were created to do. (I enjoy playing the piano and spontaneously writing music. When I need to experience God’s delight, I set my Bible on the piano and sing the Psalms back to God with new music that comes out of me.)
• Walk outside and go “Beauty Hunting.” (This term is used by Aundi Kolber in her amazing book, Try Softer.) In beauty hunting, you are simply looking for the smallest object where you can see beauty. Maybe it will be in a blade of grass (have you ever noticed how each is formed to take in rain just so?!), or in a weed that, though it’s in the wrong place, actually is designed beautifully, or maybe it will be in hearing your child’s laugh, thinking of your favorite scent (pumpkin spice, anyone?!), or in seeing the perfect lines of a freshly mowed lawn. Just look for beauty.
• Breathe. It’s simple – but done deeply, slowly, and regularly for two minutes, breathing can restore peace and calm. Thank Jesus for breath and set your mind on Him while breathing.

Delight Demonstrated

When you have experienced, and are regularly experiencing, God’s delight, it is then that you can offer this to others. Below are a few simple ways to begin to practice demonstrating delight to those around you. I dare you to practice even one of these for just a day and see what happens.

• Begin to look those around you in the eye, raise your eyebrows, smile, and then say, “Hey! I like you!”
• Write a quick text to your spouse, friend, or child and just say “I’m thinking of you! I’m so glad you’re in my life!”
• Invite a friend out for coffee – and make it happen!
• Pay for the person’s coffee behind you in Starbucks drive thru.
• Tell the cashier you’re thankful for them- with raised eyebrows and a smile. =)
• At church, intentionally put #1 into practice with the most difficult person, the recently widowed, the squirmy child, the defeated parent, the recently diagnosed cancer fighter.

Delight isn’t difficult – but it does have to be continually experienced and practiced.

We were created for delight. Let’s live in alignment with our original design.