Most of us want to be a good friend, a patient parent, or a safe place for our spouse when those in our lives need us most. Yet, many times, we’re at a loss as to how to even begin truly being that for another.
Enter –> active listening.
Active listening is crucial because it goes beyond merely hearing words; it involves fully understanding the another’s emotions, concerns, and perspectives. By giving undivided attention, active listening shows genuine interest and empathy. It creates a safe space for open communication, fostering trust and deepening relationships. Active listening not only strengthens our connections with one another, it also promotes effective problem-solving and conflict resolution! This makes active listening one of the most fundamental skills in building meaningful and satisfying relationships.
The following is a list created for those of us who sometimes need a little help being pointed in the right direct when we ask, “What can I do to connect to my ______ (friend, spouse, child, etc.)” Try a few of them out today and see what happens!
Increase Connection with Open-Ended Questions (for Your Friend)
- “What’s been on your mind lately?”
- “Tell me about something that made you really happy recently.”
- “How do you handle stress, and do you have any tips to share?”
- “What’s a goal you’re currently working towards?”
- “What’s a passion or hobby you’d like to explore further?”
- “Can you share a memorable childhood experience?”
- “What’s a book, movie, or TV show you’ve enjoyed recently?”
- “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life so far?”
- “Is there a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Why?”
- “Tell me about a challenging situation you overcame and how it changed you.”
- “What’s something you wish more people knew about you?”
- “How do you define a true friendship?”
- “What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?”
- “Tell me about a person who has significantly influenced your life.”
- “What do you value most in your relationships with others?”
Increase Connection with Your Spouse)
- “How was your day? Tell me all about it.”
- “What are your dreams and goals right now?”
- “How are you feeling about [specific situation or event]?”
- “What’s something you’ve been thinking about a lot lately?”
- “What do you love most about our relationship?”
- “Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about?”
- “What can I do to support you better?”
- “Tell me about your favorite childhood memory.”
- “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try or learn?”
- “How do you envision our future together?”
- “What do you appreciate most about our life together?”
- “What’s a challenge you’re facing that you’d like my perspective on?”
- “What makes you feel most loved and appreciated?”
- “How do you define success and happiness in our relationship?”
- “What are your thoughts on [a topic you’re both interested in]?”
Increase Connection with Your Kids
- How are you feeling today?
- Can you tell me more about what happened?
- What was the best part of your day?
- What was the most challenging part of your day?
- How did that make you feel?
- What do you think about that?
- Is there something on your mind that you want to talk about?
- What made you smile today?
- What made you upset or sad today?
- How do you feel about [specific situation or event]?
- Can you describe what you’re feeling right now?
- Tell me about a time when you felt really proud of yourself.
- What do you wish had happened differently?
- How can I support you right now?
- Is there anything you want to ask me about?
It’s Not JUST in the Question
Creating deeper and more meaningful relationships takes time, empathy, and genuine interest. Asking these questions and then not really staying around for the answers (either physically or mentally), is something that can often be felt so it’s important to remember to listen to the responses, use positive non-verbal communication gestures (such as attentive eye contact and a welcoming body posture), and reflect back to them what they say so they know they’ve been seen and heard.
Active listening is a skill anyone can learn, but it does require practice. Bringing your friend, spouse, and even children, in on the learning process will increase your connection with them, too – so don’t be afraid to share with them what you’re trying to do in your new ways of communicating with them.
Share Your New Found Skills!
If you try any of these questions with your friends and family, I’d love to know! Head on over to your FB / IG page and share your new question with the world and tag me (@theministrywifecoach) while you’re at it. Looking forward to seeing you over there!
